Will Rogers

On account of us being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.
Will Rogers - New York Times Aug. 31 1924
You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

There ought to be one day-- just one-- when there is open season on senators.

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

Our Constitution protects aliens, drunks, and U.S. senators.

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
Will Rogers - New York Times, Sept 30 1923
Well, all I know is what I read in the papers.

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
Will Rogers - Illiterate Digest (1924), "Warning to Jokers: lay off the prince"
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.

Noah must have taken into the Ark two taxes, one male and one female. And did they multiply bountifully! Next to guinea pigs, taxes must have been the most prolific animals.

If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week.

Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison.

Politics is applesauce.

Well, all I know is what I read in the papers.

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.

I was not a child prodigy, because a child prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up.

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.
Will Rogers - New York TImes, Apr. 29, 1930
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.
Will Rogers - Autobiography (1949) chapter 6
There is only one thing that can kill the Movies, and that is education.

I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
Will Rogers - Illiterate Digest (1924), "Helping the Girls with their Income Taxes"
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

There ought to be one day - just one - where there is open season on senators.

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing -- and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

People love high ideals, but they got to be about 33-percent plausible.
Will Rogers - Newspaper article, Feb. 15, 1925
Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.

- Will Rogers