Stephen Leacock

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

Golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort.

I detest life-insurance agents; they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

A sportsman is a man who, every now and then, simply has to go out and kill something.
Stephen Leacock - "Nonsense Novels",1911
Lord Ronald said nothing; he flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.
Stephen Leacock - 1912
Anybody who has listened to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of poetry, or heard certain kinds of performances on the concertina, will admit that even suicide has its brighter aspects.

It may be that those who do most, dream most.

- Stephen Leacock