Russell Baker

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperatelly? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure.

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

New York is the only city in the world where you can get deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian.

Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.

Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things.

The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him.

- Russell Baker