Quentin Crisp

The continued propinquity of another human being cramps the style after a time unless that person is somebody you think you love. Then the burden becomes intolerable at once.

To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody.

For flavor, instant sex will never supercede the stuff you have to peel and cook.

Life was a funny thing that occured on the way to the grave.

Treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.

The English think incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.

Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

Decency...must be an even more exhausting state to maintain than its opposite. Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep.

The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.

Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.

Nothing in our culture, not even home computers, is more overrated than the epidermal felicity of two featherless bipeds in desperate congress.

Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation to which the filing system has been lost?

To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody.

Even holligans marry, though they know that marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever.

One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend.

- Quentin Crisp