P. G. Wodehouse

Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.
P. G. Wodehouse - The Man Upstairs (1914)
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
P. G. Wodehouse - Uneasy Money
Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
P. G. Wodehouse - Uneasy Money
At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.

If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.

- P. G. Wodehouse