Lemony Snicket - A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Grimm Grotto

Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when you acquire it, but there may be situations when it will not come in handy at all.
Lemony Snicket - A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Hostile Hospital
Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree what they are made of, where they come from, or how often the should appear.
Lemony Snicket - A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning
If you are interested in stories with happy endings you would be better off reading some other book.

- Lemony Snicket - A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Grimm Grotto